As I looked around the dinner table today, with a knot in my stomach I grieved grandpa not sitting at grandma's side for the first holiday in my lifetime. Looking back on the example he's been to us, however, I rejoiced. He's finally reached his true residence. Two months ago today, we said goodbye to Grandpa on this side of eternity...but praise God for the hope of heaven, where we as believers will one day join him!
Journaling, I believe is a great way to look back at memories, times of learning, growth, and how God's revealed Himself in His word. Here's a portion of what I wrote the day after Grandpa's death.
9/25/2010
For some reason last night I knew I was suppose to visit Grandpa at the Hospice House where he's spent the past 4 days. I called Andrew right away from clinicals and we drove the 30 miles to see him. Our time with him was so beautiful, words can't begin to describe. Walking in to his skeletal frame and unresponsiveness (due to the morphine), I saw A grandpa i've never known. I honestly thought this would be one of the hardest experiences ever, but it turned out exactly the opposite. We read him scripture, sang, and Andrew read a letter he wrote to Grandpa back in April when he was first diagnosed with cancer. Grandpa laid motionless under his covers except to strain to move his head every time we whispered in his ears. Trying to contain an ocean of tears, about an hour later we prayed and expressed how much we loved him as we went to leave-- expecting nothing in response. To our astonishment, he squeezed our hands with all the strength left in his feeble fingers, lifted his head, and opened his bright beautiful eyes wider than i'd seen in months...as if he knew it'd be his final look at Andrew and I this side of heaven. Not 24 hours later, we recieved a call that he had died. NOW he's resting in complete peace!
Grandpas death has given me an incredibly different perspective on the brevity of life. Like a flower in the field, we're here one moment and gone the next. Are you and I living in light of that?
"Show me, Lord, my life's end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting my life is." Psalm 39:4
Thursday, November 25, 2010
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